Tidbits

When the caffeine makes you twitchy, that's a sign to stop.

Tidbits

Food Network got so much flak from "Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives" that they started a special hotline for complaints called, "We Didn't Start the Fieri."

Tidbits

"What are the Scoville units of actual fire?"

Happy Thanksgiving

I just got a pumpkin pie with cheesecake mixed in. What a time to be alive.

Tidbits

"My friend, Boku, really hates salsa. So everytime we go to a Mexican restaurant, we have to remind the waiter, 'Boku no pico! Boku no pico!'"

Tidbits

"My coffee mirrors my soul: black and bitter. Heated by a seething hatred of mankind."

Tidbits

If being straight or gay is like preferring Coke or Pepsi, what soda is it for sapiosexuals?

Dr. Pepper.

Tidbits

"Those Dorito flavored taco shells give my universe new purpose and meaning, man."

"So they're your Doritos Logos?"

Tibdits

"I bought some rice today. Was running low."

"How much?"

"Oh, the usual. 50 pounds."

"What?"

"It's enough to last a few months. Don't want to get too much at once."

"Again...WHAT?"

People have a hard time understanding just how much rice I consume.

Happy Thanksgiving

Jellied cranberry sauce is superior to whole berry.

Tidbits

If I die from overeating at Fogo de Chao, list my cause of death as "Staked."

Tidbits

Pineapple is a tasty pizza topping.

Tidbits

Are there actually demented folks who think pork is the totality of BBQ? I mean, pork is a good component. I'm down with good pulled pork. But beef is the king of BBQ meats.

Tidbits

There should be a "yum" emoticon for when friends post food porn.

Tidbits

"I'm on a liquid diet. Alcohol!"

Tidbits

There are a number of things one should have strong informed opinions on. Food is one.

Happy Easter

Remember: gift your kids a baby rabbit for Easter. And when it's big enough, teach them survival by making them kill and skin it.

Tidbits

Good lord I hate Sucralose. Yet it keeps popping up in more and more stuff. It makes everything taste like crap.

Tidbits

Crunchy cookies are the well done steak of the snack world.

YOU RUINED IT.

Tidbits

I remember when I tried Red Bull for the first time.

It was all right once the shaking stopped.

(Seriously, though, it's disgusting. Effective, but disgusting. I am so glad I've avoided it.)