Tidbits

"In God in trust, everyone else needs data." - Dr. Luis Cruz

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It's fun when someone challenges your expertise on something - and you have a degree in it. Buuuuurn.

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What keeps every school admin up at night? Students realizing that they have the advantage of numbers.

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School by its very design runs contrary to the positive mental impulses that are within every human on birth. It's why kids begin eager and most end up soulless husks. I wish I knew how to fix it.

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One thing learned from the project I was doing in class these last few days: a LOT of my students have no idea how making videos works.

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Student yanked the fire alarm today so we had to go outside in the cold weather (actual cold, not "Texans whining" cold). Problem? It just ate away lunch time. If they'd waited about 10 more minutes, they would've delayed the start of class and actually gotten some benefit from it.

I teach at a school where the students can't even pull pranks right. Sigh.

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"Cell phones are like pacifiers for teens: they induce quiet."

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I pick up on the moods and emotions of my students. So when they're having a collectively crappy time of life (which is often), it sets me in the same mindset. It's why, even if I have nothing going on, I can fall into a funk.

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Teaching my kids to pronounce Satyr correctly. They keep saying "Satire."

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Me: So why do a negative and positive cancel out?

Student: Because God did it.

Me: No resorting to first cause!

Halloween Testing

I once gave a quiz with 13 questions in honor of the holiday.

The bonus was about famous horror movie franchises. I was disappointed no one knew who Michael Myers was or what series he was in (Halloween).

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Student: "Mister, why do you talk to yourself?"

Me: "Because I'm a serial killer."

Celebrating Halloween a little early.

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Show me a school that brags about its students GPA's and I'll show you an administration that mandates grade inflation.

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Post-lunch periods are where good lesson plans go to die.

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Student: "But, sir, what if I get ebola, die, and come back as a zombie?"

Me: "I imagine your grades would improve."

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I once had an entire class who didn't know who Daft Punk was.

WE LISTENED TO DAFT PUNK THAT ENTIRE PERIOD.

Problem solved.

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Thanks to a word problem involving Deadpool, I taught my kids what chimichangas are. Most of them had never heard of them.

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If a student asks what happened to a classmate who transferred to another class, I laugh evilly and talk about how lovely their blood looks on my wall at home. No one's caught the "I have to keep the wall wet!" JTHM reference yet, sadly.

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I love working with coaches and military folks. They love hearing from a math teacher. If you do sports or ROTC, I OWN you.

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The attitude some teachers have to cell phones reminds me of nuns bashing ball-point pens in favor of cartridge pens.