Saturday, June 16, 2018

Friday, June 15, 2018


What keeps every school admin up at night? Students realizing that they have the advantage of numbers.

Friday, May 25, 2018


Sometimes when reporters are covering an event, they'll reveal what they're really looking for in how they describe the scene.

"As we watch the live images of the burning cars, it must be devastating to the dealership owner, even as we wait for the inevitable explosions that should come at any time now."

Friday, May 18, 2018


Tinder: Look at all these great people who have absolutely no interest in you, loser!

Friday, May 11, 2018


Now and then I have a problem with my voice. Solution: piping hot apple cider down the gullet.

Friday, May 4, 2018


That feeling of being back in the civilized world when you shop outside Austin and get plastic bags.

Friday, April 27, 2018


School by its very design runs contrary to the positive mental impulses that are within every human on birth. It's why kids begin eager and most end up soulless husks. I wish I knew how to fix it.

Friday, April 20, 2018


Ian: How many Tacos have you eaten?

Me: Only six.

Ian: looks surprised

Me: They're very small.

When someone asks me how much I've eaten, I tend to assume they're implying I've eaten too little. I forget that it's usually the opposite.