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CNN: End the 2nd Amendment!

Fox: End the 4th Amendment!

MSNBC: Just bend over already.

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When I watched Kung Fury, all I could think of is, "I want a crossover with Axe Cop."

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A 14-sided die was found next to a 2,300 old skeleton in China. Now we know what happens when you roll one too many crit fails.

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"You know how we should end veteran homelessness?"

"How?"

"We should force citizens to give them space in their homes!"

"...Did you just propose a violation of the 3rd Amendment? How the hell do you even do that anymore?"

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Unfortunate truth: when we've declared war on a negative abstract concept, it has produced more of that condition (poverty, drugs, terrorism, etc.).

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Babies: The snack that smiles back.

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If your enemies label you a "First Amendment Fundamentalist," you are saying the right things to the right people.

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Nathan Fillion should crossplay as a Disney villain.

Specifically: Mal-ificent.

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If your card game ends after 3 turns or less, you're doing it wrong. The fun is from the playing. Broken quick kill decks are the antithesis of a good game. It's on the designer to make sure that doesn't happen.

Happy Halloween

I wonder if there's an app to track Halloween candy distribution and quality.

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My sex is male.

My gender?

MAD SCIENTIST.

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Apparently my keyboard swipe feature thinks "tusks" and "gnarls" are related to "Thanks." Weird.

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We see light from millions of years ago in the cosmos. There could be a devastating extra-universal invasion going on right now and we wouldn't know until it was on our doorstep.

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Video game concept: bishounen bullet hell focusing on guys in executive attire.

Name: Black Sock Shooter.

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Re-reading my copy of Mao's Little Red Book ("Quotations from Chairman Mao") as research. Went to put a bookmark in it: Ayn Rand Essay contest promo. Huh. That works.

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"I breast feed. I hope that doesn't bother anyone."

"I doub-tit."

I made the pun, but even I cringed at it.

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The Doctor should met Peter Pan. The character similarities and differences would make it interesting.

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Strip club idea: "Pole Land."

Motto: "Dancers so good Hitler would blitzkrieg us."

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Idea for steampunk cosplay prop to carry: stuffed Deadpool doll. He has some gears glued on (badly) and the speech bubble, "Am I Steampunk yet?"

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Manager: I think we all have a good working relationship here.

Me: [thinking] Actually, most of us hate you and are hoping you die in a freak gym accident, you verbally abusive scumbag.

Not the worst boss I had. In the top 5, though. she was fired later for incompetence - turns out she annoyed the distract manager as much as the employees.

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"I've taken economics courses and I still don't understand how money works."

"Don't worry. Neither does Bernie Sanders."

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Guys who tell girls their intelligence is a turn off deserve a special place in hell. Preferably high in irony and pain.

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Them: A pan of banana pudding holds 5 pints, enough for 20 people.

Me: Sounds like enough to last me a few days.

They thought I was joking.

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"Compared to a scorpion, a lobster is a mermaid." - Mike Walton

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Favorite Pokemon theory:

Red is Ash's father. Blue is Gary's father.

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Fund raising idea for animal shelters: eco paper shredding. You bring papers to the shelter and they let you watch their animals (cats and dogs) tear them apart in exchange for a donation.

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"Why did you order a large pizza for yourself?"

"I didn't want to stuff myself."

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I wonder if people with the nickname Bea hate the "bae" slang even more than the rest of us?

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I enjoy pumpkin spice latte unironically. I think it's because I first tried it before it was a meme and decided I liked it. And since I like it, I'm not going to stop liking it just because it's popular.

(It is, interestingly, the only Starbucks item I do enjoy. I don't like their coffee in general.)

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Pope Francis believes a snake caused women to lead men to sin. He also believes in socialism. Both beliefs have caused suffering to millions.

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Battle of the Three Gods!

Haruhi Suzumiya
Madoka Kaname
Yuno Gasai

Who wins?

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"Are you mad at me?"

"You acted in a manner consistent with your value as a friend."

"...I'm taking that as a yes."

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At a previous job, the boss gave me a crappy attitude in the morning. Her mistake? Doing it in front of an elderly customer who likes me.

Do you know how it feels to be publicly excoriated and humiliated by a grandma? My boss did.

I gave the grandma an extra discount at check out. That boss was later fired for incompetence.

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A powerful motivator is the acceptance and recognition of peers and superiors. Yet too often said recognition is withheld, sometimes out of lack of understanding of good management techniques or, worse, on purpose. The latter can be classified as a form of emotional abuse.

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PSA of the day: There are only 152 Pokemon. If you see any others, that's the acid taking effect.

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No one is ever perfect just the way they are. You can always be better than you were. You should always try to be better.

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Me: So where do you work?

Them: I work at a local spa.

Me: Do you ever greet people by yelling, "This is SPA-ta?"

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I've made friends, rivals, and enemies. I guess that makes me human.

(I could do without the enemies, though.)

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I prefer Cholula to Tabasco. Not as good as Sriracha, but the burn is pleasant and flavor more appealing. I can ladle it on without discomfort.

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Minions vs. Jawas. Who wins?

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Pretty much the best part of Voltron was hearing the opening narration done by Optimus Prime.

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Lilo and Stitch need to have a crossover with the Disney princess, Moana.

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Nick Offerman tends to be the voice of my, "Oh, god, not this crap again" internal monologue.

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I love guys who just reply, "No, you're wrong" without stating why. I just laugh in their face, post something snarky, and move on. Not worth the time to refute someone who just wants to embarrass themselves.

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"Hey kids, wanna see a dead body?"

One of my favorite Alucard lines in Hellsing Abridged.

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Per the law of pendulums, our current emphasis on gender neutral labeling will swing back into a resurgence of tightly defined gender roles that follow western stereotypes in about a decade or so.

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"Has science gone too far?"

If you have to ask, the answer is no.

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Graveyard of the Fireflies.

Abridged.

I'm not sure if this is a terrible or awesome idea.

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I find I prefer triple digits to the 80's. In the 80's, I just feel sweaty and gross. When the heat gets really high, it feels like my body is actually cooling itself better.

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Safety nets inevitably turn into nooses hoisted by those with good intentions.

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Me: I hate typing on my phone. I'm faster at home.

Eli: That's what she said!

Me: Dang it.

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Waffle House breakfast is best breakfast.

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"Flying fish roe is the pop rocks of sushi."

"So if you drink it with soda you die?"

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"This says it tastes pure."

"What does purity taste like?"

"I dunno. Hitler, maybe?"