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I've got enemies up to my eyeballs, but no one really worthy of being a "rival." Someone with whom I can compete (in a friendly and sporting manner) to encourage me to bring my A game. I feel that might help my growth.

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If someone tells you mad science can't solve every problem in your life, finish securing the mouth restraints quickly. You don't need that kind of negativity from test subjects.

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"In God in trust, everyone else needs data." - Dr. Luis Cruz

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Random douche: Go fuck yourself with a shovel!

Me: TMI about your kink preferences, dude.

I don't always have a good comeback. That was a good one.

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The power of fiction and art is to shape what we perceive as good and evil. That's why knowing what values you have and how to express them through those forms is critical. That is in addition to technical mastery of the form.

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Customer: I want a gray background on this.

Me: Okay! Understand there may be some back and forth on drafts. I'm told there are over 4 dozen distinct shades of gray.

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There's a bacteria that can cause freezing to break open the leaves of plants and infect. Necrotic cryogenic pathogens anyone? Definitely using that as an environmental hazard for my game now.

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"My friend, Boku, really hates salsa. So everytime we go to a Mexican restaurant, we have to remind the waiter, 'Boku no pico! Boku no pico!'"

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Idea: take photos of politicians talking and add "SCREECHING INTENSIFIES" as a caption.

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"My coffee mirrors my soul: black and bitter. Heated by a seething hatred of mankind."

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Instead of "autistic screeching" I'll use "manchild screeching." It's funny, it exists, and it's making fun of what people choose to be, not what they have no control over, which I am more comfortable with.

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"Kenpachi Ramasama." I need to use this joke somewhere.

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The problem with car vending machines: what if they get stuck? Do you have to buy another?

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Terrible but hilarious game idea:

Deck builder. Theme? John Norman's GOR.

Not saying I'd make this. But a) it'd probably sell and b) it'd be controversial as hell.

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One area I have not seen libertarian or ancap fiction explore much: the necessity of contracts. In a society defined by individuals engaged in consensual exchange, the use of contracts to maintain expectations and accountability would be paramount. Contract law would therefore be like holy writ.

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"Start It Up" is explicitly about Windows 95. You can tell this by the line, "You make a grown man cry."

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If being straight or gay is like preferring Coke or Pepsi, what soda is it for sapiosexuals?

Dr. Pepper.

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"Those Dorito flavored taco shells give my universe new purpose and meaning, man."

"So they're your Doritos Logos?"

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Email: "Nickelback is coming to your area this summer!"

Me: "Is that a threat?"

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Generic art insult: "Your art is like this other artist if that artist had never taken art class!"

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The older I get, the more I appreciate the Rolling Stones.

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A Who's Who of Labor: "Know Your Wrights."

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Socialism is good.

Capitalism is evil.

Freedom is slavery.

Love Big Brother.

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Why are dentists the best hackers?

They have root access.

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"Ow! I stepped on another of your hair pins. How do they keep getting everywhere?"

"Like the song says: let the bobbys hit the floor!"

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When scientists march:

"What do we want?"

"Results!"

"When do we want it?"

"When p is less than 0.05!"

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Anger is a poor substitute for logic and righteousness a lacking replacement for facts.

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"I'm not saying you SHOULD be punched in the face. I'm just saying that given what a smug bastard you are and the current political activism climate, you are very likely to get punched in the face."

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"I have so many online services: Netflix, Hulu, Prime, Crunchyroll, HBO..."

"Be careful. You don't want to cross the streams."

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"You're married to Death. That let's you cheat at Russian roulette."

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"In this episode, he had a camera."

"Yep, that's canon."

"As opposed to Nikon?"

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"That'll be 10 cents per side."

"What's a perside?"

"...Seriously?"

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Always be yourself.

Unless you're a Hufflepuff.

In which case, I am so sorry.

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Spiders are our allies in the war against insects.

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Is edible lube made from high fructose porn syrup?

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If they make a Nextwave movie, my choice for Dirk Anger? David Hasselhoff.

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Is there a trailer for Ricky & Morty that starts with, "In a world where everything is on the cob..."

Tibdits

"I bought some rice today. Was running low."

"How much?"

"Oh, the usual. 50 pounds."

"What?"

"It's enough to last a few months. Don't want to get too much at once."

"Again...WHAT?"

People have a hard time understanding just how much rice I consume.

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If My Little Pony ever did a series where the ponies compete to be music stars, would they call it "Twilight of the Idols?"

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Savage Worlds is not just a game where you lob pointed remarks at one another. #IStandCorrected