Sleep and You Fail

While I worked as a cashier some time ago, I would have a lot of college kids buying coffee for midterms. I came up with this spiel I delivered while waiting for their receipt to print:

"Have you read your coffee's instruction manual? No? Okay, here's what you need to know. Sleep is a reset button. If you sleep, everything you've studied will be forgotten. So you must continue to consume coffee. Sleep and you fail. The only path to success is to stay awake. Forever."

I mixed this with a shorter variant:

"Don't sleep. Sleep and you fail. Midterms are faster than you can imagine. If you sleep, they'll catch you. And then it's over. I am so sorry."

Being a cashier was fun.